Party, going out, dinner with friends…

For one young woman, she seems to have a busy schedule. Every other night this week she has made plans with her friends, even though she has other responsibilities to be attending to. She still has a project, papers, and chores that need to be done, however, she just keeps pushing them off because she doesn’t want to miss out on what her friends are doing. This young woman feels that if she stays home, everyone else will be having an amazing time and making memories without her, causing the woman to start valuing going out more than getting more important things done, such as homework.

Despite knowing that some of her friends don’t always attend everything the rest of the group does, the young woman has a hard time saying no. She doesn’t know when to stop and say “No, I can’t go out, I have homework to do, sorry.” Or “No, I can’t go to that dinner, I need to save money.” Instead, she says yes, yes, yes, to every plan, causing her to fall behind in school, chores, and work quickly and even have some financial worries since all her going out is becoming very expensive. Soon, the fun of being able to go out and do whatever you please started to fade, and the young woman is faced with the consequences of prioritizing her social life over her school one. Her grades started to drop, and as she struggled to keep up with her workload, the college put her on academic probation. All the stress has caused the young woman now to feel as if she shouldn’t even try anymore because, at this point, she will never catch up, making her parents worry that she may drop out completely, all because she has trouble knowing when to say no.

When it comes to college students, they have been found to be more “prone to engage in risky behaviors because they are free from the moral supervision of parents.” (Schnider et al. 1991). Although going out when you have class the next morning isn’t what most parents think of when they hear “risky behavior,” but for college students, it is a risk. Missing one class can become missing a whole day of classes simply because they decided to go out late last night, causing them to fall behind or miss crucial lectures as a result. Once they fall behind, it can be hard to catch back up, showing the risk of deciding to say yes to an event or party rather than being responsible and saying no.

The fear of missing (”FOMO”) out can be a big issue for college students, especially since they are in a new environment and trying to make friends. Worrying if saying no can upset those new friends or fearing that if you don’t go, maybe they will stop inviting you to things is a real issue college students face, especially those neurodivergent college bound young adults. According to the European Journal of Public Health, life-challenged individuals have been found to be particularly at risk for falling into bad habits. (Palfivoa et al. 2016). The desire to fit in is something everyone craves, especially in their most vulnerable years, such as being alone in college, so much so it can be hard to say no. No one wants to miss out or be stuck doing homework instead of having fun, but regardless, knowing when to say no is a crucial part of being able to be successful before, during, and after college, and The College Life Skills Program acknowledges that.

At the College Life Skills Program, our team of Doctoral and Master level professionals utilizes a series of services and techniques to help young adults who are college bound, in college, and even after college succeed in and after their transition into independent life. We help teach them life skills such as being able to say no in college, the work world and in life to help them learn how to balance independent life on their own, as well as executive functioning skills, social skills, and development of emotional maturity. If your young adult is struggling with life skills, such as being able to identify when they need to say no or the transition into adulthood, CollegeLSP has the tools to aid them in achieving such skills.

Dr. Eric J. Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D.C., is a Developmental and Behavioral Specialist who specializes in Autism, ADHD and related disorders. Dr. Nach is the founder of the College Life Skills Program where he and his team of professional’s help develop the Emotional Maturity, Executive Functioning, Life Skill and Social Abilities of college students and those high school students preparing for college. The CollegeLSP is a subsidiary program of the Support For Students Growth Center, located in Boca Raton, FL and providing services nationwide.

Schneider, D., & Morris, J. (n.d.). (PDF) risk-taking behaviors of college students. Retrieved February 27, 2022, from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233969346_Risk-Taking_Behaviors_of_College_Students

Palfiova, M., Dankulincova Veselska, Z., & Bobakova, D. (2016, November 3). Is risk-taking behaviour more prevalent among adolescents with learning disabilities? Academic.oup.com. Retrieved February 27, 2022, from https://academic.oup.com/eurpub/article/27/3/501/2450392