Angry, sad, excited…
For one young man, college was filling him with almost every emotion he could imagine. Everyday he’d wake up, and by noon he would have gone through a flurry of different feelings, and as time went on, it began to take a toll on his mental health. Although he would have very good days on occasion, the bad days would be frequent and very bad. It would make the young man irritable to almost everything, and even though he didn’t mean it, he would let his mood get the best of him and impact every part of his life.
Although he wasn’t the cause, the young man’s roommate would often get the worst of the young man’s attitude if he had a bad day. Even if it was something minor, there would be times where the young man would yell or snap at his roommate for doing something as simple as leaving his shoes out, which although may be annoying, didn’t warrant the way he reacted.
Since the young man had a bad day, he would often treat his roommate in a way that didn’t fit the situation, and although he always forgave him, as time went on, the young man’s roommate let him know at the end of the year he didn’t want to be rooming with him in the fall. This then upset the young man since his roommate was one of his only friends in college, and after hearing this, he realized his inability to regulate his emotions and the behaviors that followed had caused their friendship to diminish. This then led him to struggle to put himself out there the next fall, and as time went on, he became more and more isolated, causing the college he once thought was a fun and exciting place to quickly become the leading factor to his unhappiness.
Emotions are a powerful thing. They cause us to make decisions based on what we feel in our hearts, not just our heads, but with negative emotions can come negative and unproductive behaviors. It is difficult for most people to ignore their emotions when reacting to something, and when it comes to college, young adults can be filled with emotions they may not be used to feeling. From the thrill of independent life to the anxiety of classes, there can be a lot going on in a young adult’s head at one time. This then can result in stress, and eventually cause a person to lash out or even drop out, which isn’t ideal. On the opposite side, the unbelievable excitement of being your own person can cause you to go a little too hard in situations like partying, which can then even become dangerous. Although most things such as stress and having fun are inevitable, regulating your emotions and behavior that results from them is crucial to being able to keep yourself in line, as well as securing relationships and jobs in the future.
Most do not want to be known as the person who is unable to control themselves. Although sometimes a person can trigger a large emotional reaction from us, being able to identify when and where proper behavior is needed is important. This however doesn’t mean that feeling those emotions isn’t allowed. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Acknowledging what you are feeling internally allows for better regulation, and therefore mental health, but knowing how to suppress actions in these times allows for comfort when in stressful situations. Not everyone is going to get along with you. Some will say and do things that really upset you, especially when in college, and at times they will be unapologetic, but being the bigger person allows for you to not come off as the negative factor in such a situation. According to the National Center for Learning Disabilities, “at least one in 10 people have had a serious disturbance at some point in their life.” (NCLB, 2017). This means that most people you come across have felt such intense emotion in the past and may have even been led to react harshly to it before, but in doing so, it enables an individual to know how to handle it in the future. Lashing out or acting drastically at everything is not okay. It puts a strain on everyone around you, as well as yourself, and can even hinder education and potential career opportunities. When it comes to dropout rates, those with learning differences as well as emotional and behavioral problems reach 52.3% (whocaresaboutkelsey, n.d.). That is a high percentile, but it is because not being able to control emotions or behavior puts a strain on not only you, but the people around you, making it difficult to offer and receive help, learn, make and maintain friendships and jobs, and overall enjoy your environment, but it is not something that cannot be learned.
At the College Life Skills Program, our team of Doctoral and Master level professionals utilizes a series of highly individualized strategies, services, and techniques to help neurodivergent young adults who are college bound, in college, and even after college succeed in and after their transition into independent life. We help teach them life skills such as regulating emotions and behaviors so they can be successful in the work world and in life as well as help them learn how to balance independent life on their own, and other executive functioning skills, social skills, and emotional maturity. If your young adult is struggling with life skills, such as being able to regulate their emotions and behaviors or the transition into college and adulthood, CollegeLSP has the tools to aid them in achieving and generalizing such skills.
Click here and call now to schedule your FREE 20-minute individualized screening- $200 value
Dr. Eric J. Nach, Ph.D., M.Ed., A.S.D.C., is a Developmental and Behavioral Specialist who specializes in Autism, ADHD and related disorders. Dr. Nach is the founder of the College Life Skills Program where he and his team of professional’s help develop the Emotional Maturity, Executive Functioning, Life Skill and Social Abilities of college students and those high school students preparing for college. The CollegeLSP is a subsidiary program of the Support For Students Growth Center, located in Boca Raton, FL and providing services nationwide.
Social, emotional and behavioral challenges. NCLD. (2019, November 21). Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://www.ncld.org/research/state-of-learning-disabilities/social-emotional-and-behavioral-challenges/
Statistics. Who Cares about Kelsey? (n.d.). Retrieved May 6, 2022, from https://whocaresaboutkelsey.com/the-issues/statistics/
